The business of life

Words: Denise Gluyas
I was having a great year - work was booming, business was good. I was finally losing some much needed weight and my family seemed to be finally getting over the worst with regard to the loss of my sister from cancer the year before. I was feeling very lucky and life was good.
And then in late August, 2007 I was in the shower examining myself and discovered one breast was not like the other. From there I joined what I refer to as the ‘conveyor belt’. I was the item on the belt and everything outside of that was designed to save my life.
I was now in limited control of what was going to happen in my world and would need to make decisions that I had never considered before. Things moved pretty fast in the first few weeks. I had surgery within a fortnight and had a full mastectomy of my left breast and no reconstruction - one thing at a time I thought!
I discovered that I had a small, invasive/aggressive Grade Three tumour, just less than two cm in size, and it had minutely involved my lymph nodes. So chemo was recommended and was commenced on 6 October, 2007, my mother’s birthday.
The impact of the diagnosis created different reactions within my family. My husband, Mark was devastated and unable to be with me at any of my major meetings with specialists.
My mother and sister, ever practical, supported me when key appointments came up even though they had to travel from Hamilton. Other friends came through on key chemo dates and kept me company. Mark was hugely supportive on the emotional level and helped me in other ways - loving me when my hair fell out, and doing the little things to keep the household together. As the chemo dragged on he drove me to all my client meetings and presentations and let me use his energy when I could. My last chemo was on his birthday.
Being self-employed as a business coach I realised two things pretty fast. I had to keep the business going to pay the bills, and I had to be open with my clients and give them the choice to continue working with me or getting a different coach. I was grateful and pleased that all my clients continued to work with me. I even took on several new clients while I was going through treatment.
My personal nemesis was the seroma (fluid continuing to collect from the wound) that never went away after the surgery. The whole time I went through chemo the seroma, distressingly, continued to fill daily. It upset me a great deal and I took to wearing scarves and wraps to cover up the strange addition to myself. Physiologically it whittled away at me.
The most important aspect about being able to continue to work during treatment was I was able to focus on my work and clients and not just on myself. I was always a good planner and organised my diary and visits around the high-energy times between chemo treatments. I made sure I rested when and where I could. I was amazingly strict about what I allowed into my life and what I would and would not do. A positive mindset is a must, and this is a daily discipline.
I have learned many ways to retrain my mind to focus more effectively on the results that I do want.
The major difference for me regarding my approach to work post-cancer is that previously it was all about business. It was about profit, strategy, marketing, cash flows, systems, etc. And business is still very much about this. However, I have widened the type of coaching that I do and I have introduced new elements into the coaching around personal energy, leadership
and communication.
One of the key questions I ask all my prospective clients is ‘Are you happy?’ ‘Do you enjoy what you do with your time, day or life?’ The coaching has become more personal. I spend as much time on business coaching these days as I do on personal, career or leadership and management coaching. And everything stems from ensuring the person in front of me is happy, or wants to become happier, with how they go about their day. I’m in the business now of lifting confidence, building futures and understanding success in practical and useful ways - profitability and money will follow.
I changed my business name from the unimaginative DMG Akshon to Speak up Speak out. This was something that I learnt to do even more effectively when working with all my specialists when deciding on my options and health. It is so important that we each find our own voice and make decisions based on a good and clear understanding of the options.
I now coach and train others to learn these skills. For example, taking back your MOJO, and focusing on leadership and communication as the core for everyone to achieve success in their lives.
Also, I now actively ask myself ‘Does this make me feel good?’ And if the answer is no, then I don’t do it. I guard my personal time and endeavor to spend my time wisely.

My tips for staying well while undergoing treatment:

• Believe in a positive outcome.
• Ask many questions of your specialists, listen to them but you own your decisions.
• Know your own mind. This is one journey you do on your own, the views of others, including your partner’s, are not your business.
• Avoid people that begin to tell you stories with bad endings - personally I didn’t need those and told people not to tell me.
• Take additional vitamins. Doctors may believe they don’t do anything, but I believed they did - and it’s my mind and body I have to look after
• Be ruthless with your energy and time. Only do what you can do. Be gentle with yourself.
• Find ways to celebrate and have fun - even small things deserve to be enjoyed.